Business Finds

Developing Wisdom

When you have a tough decision to make, stop for a moment and imagine your ideal future self. Ask what s/he would do.

When I do this, the correct decision is usually clear to me right away. The hard part is summoning the strength to follow through.

You don’t have to make the decision your ideal self would suggest. You may not be strong enough to handle it yet. In that case, it’s good to acknowledge to yourself that you’re going to make a different decision for now. Then as you act on it, keep a close eye on how it’s turning out. How do you feel about it as you move forward?

When I’ve made decisions that were different from what my ideal future self would do, I usually felt disappointed in myself. But I allow myself to experience that feeling anyway.

Recently I made a fairly minor personal decision that I knew was bad going into it, but I felt I need to go forward with it anyway. So I gave myself permission to experience and explore that divergence b etween the man that I am now and the man that I wish to be. After I acted on the decision, I feel okay about it at first, but then I began having doubts about whether it was such a good idea. A day later I felt pretty stupid for having made the decision. Even so, I’m glad I made the decision as I did. It was a very limited decision that I knew wouldn’t have any serious after-effects, so I felt okay giving myself permission to explore it. It had the positive effect of getting me to do more self-examination and to let go of a little more immaturity.

It’s okay to make a choice you feel is wrong — even intentionally — if you treat it as a learning experience. Bad decisions can sometimes help you see the consequences of your actions more clearly than good decisions. And this can help you learn and grow faster.

The point is to make important decisions consciously, especially those tricky character decisions. Consult with your ideal future self. Notice when you’re con verging with your ideal self and when you’re diverging. Pay attention to the consequences of your choices, especially during the first 24 hours when you begin to act a new decision. Notice how you feel about yourself. You’ll find that as you do this, little by little, you’ll begin to converge with your future self. After all, the main difference between you two is that you make different decisions. When you begin to align your decisions with your future self, you align your character as well, and your character shapes your destiny. Make your decisions more consciously, and you will consciously sculpt your character.

My life has changed tremendously in the 18 years since I started on this path. Some of the changes I’ve made would have been unfathomable to me back then. By far the biggest and most important steps were those that helped me improve my character. I’d gladly let go of all the external bells and whistles in order to hold onto the inner changes. No sum of money can purchase honor. No position can give you courage. No title can bestow you with compassion.

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Personal Growth by Business Finds