Business Finds

Permission to Fail

In order to make better decisions, we have to give ourselves permission to fail. We have to make failure okay to experience.

I know that I’ll make new mistakes in the future. But I don’t beat myself up when I make a bad decision. I forgive myself in advance. I know that I can’t predict every outcome, and I know that I’m not perfectly aligned with the character qualities of the man I wish to be. I accept that. It’s okay. It’s a good thing really because it means I can continue learning and growing.

Failure isn’t the end of the world. Every failure is a learning experience. Failure is simply the underbelly of success. If you don’t risk failure again and again, you’ll never enjoy true success. Fake success is when you seek validation in your titles, positions, and possessions. True success is when you can gaze into a mirror and feel totally loved and accepted by the conscious being looking back at you.

Self-acceptance

Accepting where you are is so important. If you don’t accept yourself, you can’t grow. Beating yourself up will only keep you stuck.

If you don’t like the situation you’re in, or if you don’t think much of your decisions sometimes, that’s okay. Focus on the fact that you always have the potential to grow. That’s what allowed me to accept myself when I first started on a path of conscious growth. My life was one big mess, but I focused my attention on the small areas where I could grow.

I began by giving myself permission to feel good about the things that other people would take for granted. I didn’t steal today — that’s awesome! I exercised once this week — what a breakthrough! I got up before noon today — hot damn! That seems a bit silly looking back on it, but those accomplishments were big deals to me at the time. Some days I couldn’t even get myself out of bed until the sun was already setting, so being on my feet when there were several hours of daylig ht left really did give me a sense of accomplishment. My past self would have a hard time believing that I happily got up at 4:45am this morning, wrote and posted a blog entry, and then went to play disc golf with some friends at 6am.

Even two years after I last stole anything, I’d still feel anxious walking into most stores, including stores I never stole from. I knew I wasn’t going to shoplift anything, but I still had all those old habits — taking note of the security cameras, scanning for the loss-prevention sensors, spotting the plain-clothed store security people roaming around. Those feelings eventually degraded over time, but it took years to finally feel that I was congruent with my new choices and not being ruled by unconscious patterns. Even five years later, I could still feel the residue of those experiences, like a disturbing echo in my consciousness.

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Personal Growth by Business Finds